I Feel Like I'm on the Outside Looking In
by Asian-Inkwell
Summary: "I am a dying country. I've always been. Was I even meant to exist? I've always been on the outside, despite Ludwig trying to bring me into the inside I long to be apart of." Mostly in Prussia's POV but a little bit of Germany's POV and perhaps Russia's from time to time. Family fluff. No yaoi. Human names used. Rated T for violence and just in case. (On hiatus.)
1. Running Away from You

_Disclaimer: _I do not own Hetalia! I only own the rights to this story. I would not be writing fanfic if I owned it. ;P

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_**Chapter One: "Running Away from You"**_

_(Prussia's POV)_

_Prrr-dddd-dddd-ddddd-ddddd! POW!_

Bullets just seemed to pour down on us. The Allies seemed to have some sort of renewed strength as they attacked us anew. Germany, my Bruder, was right beside me in the trench as we returned as much fire as we could. But, I knew it wasn't looking good at all. Russia was leading these Allied forces and he knew what he was doing. I glanced at my Bruder. He was looking pretty good despite all he had been through these past years. He had always been a strong kid... and he will always will be. I furrowed my brows. I can't let Russia take him. I know there is no way we can beat the Allied Powers now, but if Germany is going to surrender to anyone, I'd rather it be England or France.

"Ludwig!" I yelled as a new downpour of bullets came toward us causing us to duck back into the trench.

Germany glanced at me as he reloaded his gun.

I grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled his head close to my mouth so he could hear me better. (And well... to embrace him one last time. I don't know when I'll be able to see him again.) Germany squirmed slightly but I tightened my grip as I somewhat shakily yelled into his ear. "Ludwig, get out of here!"

He wrenched out of my grasp and gave me a look of hurt and surprise. "_Was redest du da?! _(What are you talking about?!) I'm not leaving without you, Bruder!"

I grabbed his gun and knocked him over, hoping he'd understand my seriousness. He grunted as he hit the back of the trench. He looked up at me with his sad blue eyes. It was written all over his eyes... he didn't want to go and not only did he not understand but he also didn't care to try to understand why. I hissed through my teeth silently. Why did he always go to this stubborn mode when I'm trying to save him from trouble?

"Ludwig, GO!"

Germany ignored my command and began to shoot once again at our enemy.

I sighed softly. I didn't want it to come to this, but I knew it would have to happen one of these days. I hate this but it's the only way I know how to keep Germany save.

_BANG!_

Germany stared at me with wide eyes. His shocked expression nearly killed me, but I had to... for his sake.

"G-G-Gilbert... why?"

I turned away from my wounded Bruder and climbed out of the trench. _I'm sorry, Ludwig. _

"GILBERT!" Germany screamed after me.

I resisted the urge to turn back and look at him as I ran to face Russia, on my own.

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_(Germany's POV)_

I clutched at my bleeding shoulder as I watched my _großer _(big) Bruder. What was he doing?! Was he trying to get himself killed? I moved to go after him, but my shoulder screamed in pain the moment I reached out to climb out of the trench. Prussia had hit the perfect spot in my shoulder, but then he was always a better shot than I was. But why? Why did he shoot me? Me, his _kleinen _(little) Bruder? I ground my teeth together as I tried to climb out again.

"Sir! Germany!"

I glanced out of the corner of my eye to see one of my German soldiers running toward me.

"We've been ordered to fall back, sir! We need to move quickly, sir!"

I frowned. Who had given that order? Wait, I looked toward the enemy. Prussia must have... but why? Why did he send me and my soldiers back but not retreat himself? More questions began to fill my mind as my soldier helped me retreat to where all my soldiers were. I was somewhat surprised to see Prussia's soldiers retreating. Prussia must be retreating too. My heart felt relieved. What happened earlier, he must have been warding off the enemy while we retreated. He was only trying to protect me, that was all. But because of my stubbornness... I must have forced him to take more violent methods to get me to listen. Heh, I smiled slightly and laughed a bit shakily to myself. I had been worried about nothing. This whole war thing must be making me edgy. Everything would be all right.

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_(Prussia's POV)_

I wonder... will he ever understand what I've done to him? And... and if he does, will he understand what I'm doing now? Would he be able to forgive me despite everything?

_Ping!_

I stumbled as my helmet flew off my head. Eh... strong bullet I'm guessing. Okay... maybe I should have strapped it on, but I'm awesome and don't really need a helmet anyways. I gripped my gun tightly as I continued to charge through the smoke toward Russia and his army. I already got a few wounds but this won't be too long before it all ends. I pushed some smoke away from my face and shot some at the blurry army ahead of me. I was almost there. I pushed myself to run into the arms of my enemy, Russia. Running to him, and running away from my Bruder. I stepped out of the smoke and stood almost nose to nose with a rather stunned Russia. (I think I misjudged the distance quite a bit.)

I managed to grin crookedly and swung my gun over my shoulder. "Hallo, Ivan."

Russia regained his composure. "_Вы не отступит, как ваши трусливые брат, Пруссии? _(You didn't retreat like your cowardly brother, Prussia?)"

I could feel my red eyes spark with anger as I glared up into Ivan's face. "Don't you _dare _call my Bruder a coward!"

Russia seemed amused with my reaction. "You are here to surrender, _да? _(yes?)"

I tried to stand up straight without wincing. "No, I'm here to fight."

Russia held back a soft chuckle. "By yourself?"

"By myself." I slowly and shakily raised my gun and aimed it at Russia.

"_Вы решились нажать на курок? _(You dare to pull the trigger?)"

I smirked slightly. "_Das ist Krieg, nachdem alle. _(This is war after all.)"

Russia chuckled softly. "_Да, это так, не правда ли? _(Yes, it is, isn't it?)"

I pulled the trigger.

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**Author's Note: **This chapter was inspired by the song "I So Hate Consequences" particularly the line 'running from you is one of my best defenses.' And just as another note, I plan to have future chapters to have titles that hint at what they were inspired by. ;) I hope you enjoy this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. :)


	2. A Breath Away

_**Chapter Two: A Breath Away**_

_(Prussia's POV)_

I held the radio close to my ear and turned the volume up as loud as I could. The connection is awful so I'm having trouble hearing what was going on (if anything is going on yet). This old radio Russia gave me is on the verge of dying. I wish he could have given me a better one, but he was in a hurry to get to the nations meeting so I didn't really have a chance to ask him (not like I could have even if he wasn't busy). Well, I suppose I should be thankful he gave me radio at all. I mean, he wasn't letting me go to the meeting (despite the fact that I am a country even though I lost the war) so why should he let me hear the meeting? But then he did sorta explain why I can't go to the meeting. Something about England, France, and America planning to do something and it'd be better if I wasn't there. I wonder what that's suppose to mean. If it's about Germany, I'm seriously gonna kill Russia when he gets back. My last bullet may have only gotten his shoulder, but my next one will definitely hit it's mark. Russia did say something strange before he left my room. I furrowed my brows. What was it?

~_I am kinder than you think, Prussia. Perhaps after today you will understand.~_

Eh? I still don't get it... Russia kind? Heh! Beating me up some after shooting you in the shoulder is kind? Yeah right. I doubt you're really kind, Russia.

_Brrrr. Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Buzzz!_

I tightened my grip around the radio.

_"Okay guys let's get this meeting started!"_

Ah that must be America.

_"All right. It seems like everyone is here. Hmmm? What was that? Oh where's Prussia? You have to ask Russia."_

_ Beep buzzzzzzz buzzzz._

I growled under-breath and messed with the knobs to get a better connection. Maybe if I left my room? Naw... better stay still on this bed rather than risk getting disconnected from the meeting.

_"Anyways, it's okay that he's not here anyways. What? What's that suppose to mean? Well, you see we already planned to- HEY! Don't interrupt me, England!"_

_ Beeeeeppp! Buzzzz! Buzzz!_

_ "What America means to say, Germany. Is that *buzzzzzz!* have planned to *beeeeep! Buzzzz!*_

_take away Prussia's status as a country."_

I nearly dropped the radio. They didn't really mean to do that... did they?

_"We as the Allied powers think it is best *beeeeep!* he should no longer *buzzz!* be a country. After all he's the *buzzzzz!* who actually began *buzzz, buzzzz!* whole war and was *beep!* charge __of those concentration *buzzz, buzzz*."_

I fell back onto my bed. So... they were planning to place all the blame on me, huh? Well... I'll take it, but it is only for the sake of my bruder. If I was not in existence... they would wipe him off wouldn't they? I can't let that happen.

_"Once Russia signs it, it'll be official, okay?"_

Dear kind Russia...

_Scratch scritch._

_ "There, it is done."_

My fate had been sealed. Just by the signing of Russia's pen, and I have been wiped off the map. Well, at least I haven't disappeared yet like the other nations have. It's not like I'll die, right?

_Thu-thud! Thu-thud!_

I dropped the radio and clutched at my chest. What was this feeling all of the sudden?

_Thu-thump! Thu-th-th-thud!_

I screamed in pain. What in the world was wrong with me?! I clawed at my chest. What was this... this thing that seemed to be digging into my heart trying to squeeze the life out of it?!

_Th-th-thu-thump!_

I screamed again and again until soon my voice was hoarse and my throat was dry. The pain just got worse. It kept digging deeper and deeper into my heart and it started to attack my lungs. Was I even breathing now?

_Th...th...thu...thu-thump._

I clenched my eyes shut and screamed silently. I guess this is the end... Tears rolled down my cheeks. Why did this have to happen to me? Why was I the one dying like this? The other countries just disappeared... but why am I the one who doesn't? Does the world just hate me?

I struggled for another breath, wondering if I was now just a breath away from the death I was dreading.

_"I would like to make Prussia be East Germany."_

_ Thu-thud._

I coughed and gasped for a breath. Was that Russia speaking?

_"Are you sure that's a good idea, Russia?"_

_ "Yes, I am."_

I panted heavily. My breaths were suddenly becoming easier to obtain. What was happening? Was I finally dead and waking to heaven or something?

"Prussia? Prussia? Are you all right?" a worried voice above me asked.

I forced my eyes open. They felt rather dull as they focused onto the figure of Ukraine hovering over me. So, I'm not dead.

"I don't think I'm Prussia anymore," I croaked softly aloud although I had meant to say it to myself.

Ukraine seemed a bit surprised at my words as she helped me sit up. "I think you over strained yourself..." She picked up the radio and set it on my desk on the far side of the room. "You must have been through a lot during this past war. Just rest and relax. Things will get back to normal soon." She turned and gave me a sad but somewhat encouraging smile. "Take it easy all right? I'll be back with something to help you sleep."

I nodded slightly and glanced down at my chest. My shirt was unbuttoned and a bit frayed due to my clawing earlier. I gently rubbed my chest. Something... feels strangely different. My heart feels better but... it doesn't feel like my original heart I guess. It feels, well like someone resewed it together and forgot to sew something back or didn't sew it all the way together.

A small flash near my chest caught my eye. I smiled slightly as I pulled out my iron cross necklace from underneath my shirt. The metal's cool touch on my chest made me relax. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the soft pillows. Maybe... this had all been a dream.

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**Author's Note: **This chapter was slightly inspired by the song "Hero" by Skillet. X3 Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter! :D


	3. Bruised, Battered, and Betrayed

_**Chapter Three: Bruised, Battered, and Betrayed?**_

_(Prussia's POV)_

I woke up to the sound of soft yet somewhat eerie humming. I pried my eyes open.

"Ah, you are awake," a thick Russian accent greeted me.

My heart tightened, reminding me I was back in reality. Everything that happened yesterday replied in my mind. The pain was real. The cuts on my chest were really there. All that wasn't a dream... I sat up slowly and rubbed my chest as my eyes finally focused on the blurry form of Russia.

"_Доброе утро, Гилберт. _(Good morning, Gilbert.)" Russia smiled pleasantly.

"Why are you... here?" I asked raspily.

"To take care of you and keep an eye on you," he replied softly as he fluffed my pillows.

"Why... do you care?"

"_У меня есть свои причины. _(I have my reasons.)"

I grunted. "What... How... is Ludwig?"

"Your _брат? _(brother?)"

I nodded. "Is he... is he all right?"

Russia pursed his lips some. "Arthur, Alfred, and Francis are keeping an eye on him."

"Can... can I see him?"

Russia stood up suddenly. "No, you cannot."

"Why? He's my Bruder. I should at least get to see him."

Russia turned his face from me. "This is for your good."

"How can this be for my good?! Ludwig needs me!" I yelled.

Russia's bangs covered his eyes some as he turned slightly to face me. "_Я не хочу, чтобы отдельная семья ... Но это единственный путь. _(I do not wish to separate family... but this is the only way.) The Allied powers think it is best for you two be separated. You have been under the bad influence of your brother for too long... and he under yours.

"_Das ist nicht wahr! _(That's not true!) It's not like that, Ivan!"

Russia turned his back towards me. "_Я знаю ... Гилберт. Я знаю. _(I know... Gilbert. I know.)"

"Then why are you letting this happen like this?!" I yelled as tears started to form in the corners of my eyes. "WHY?!"

Russia gave me no reply as he left my room silently.

"WHY?!" I screamed. "Why?"

I slumped in my bed as my voice echoed throughout the room. Repeating that same question, 'Why?'

_Why? Why! Why! Why! Why?! _My head screamed as I pounded my fists against my mattress. Why were the Allies doing this to me? To Germany? They never separated the Italian brothers, so why us? Why?! Germany needs me there. He always needs me. Okay... I know that's a lie. Germany is all grown up now. He doesn't really need me as much as he use to. He can stand his ground without me, but... but I can't let him go. He's the reason why I've been able to make it this far. If it weren't for him, I might have been wiped off the map years ago. His love for me, his elder Bruder, had managed to keep back some of the other countries' hate for me. But now... things are different. I'm not Prussia. Would... Germany still love me even if I'm not a country anymore? I don't know if I can stand the pain of him rejecting me, or even... even hating me. He wouldn't betray me like that, would he? No, he wouldn't. He can't. He knows it would kill me. He wouldn't kill me. He wouldn't.

_A few days later..._

"_Чувствуя себя лучше, Восток?_ (Feeling better, East?)" Russia asked as he finished rebandaging my chest.

I winced slightly at my new name. I'm still not use to it.

"I guess," I replied as I fingered my cross pendant and let it rest against my bandaged chest. Just a few more days and those cuts should be healed up. Ukraine says I might have scars there since I clawed in so deeply. But since when did that matter? I have tons of battle scars, those little scars on my chest are nothing.

"I have several things to attend to today, so I won't be able to watch you much today. If you need anything, just ask Katyusha or one of the others."

I nodded. It wasn't like I'd be needing much anyways. I'm well enough to do things on my own. I rolled my shoulders back and massaged them some. Ah... I'm starting to feel much better.

"Feel free to walk around, East. But do not leave the house. You are not quite strong enough to go that far."

I rolled my eyes as I followed Russia out of my room. I know my limits.

Russia turned back towards me. "Please behave while I'm gone."

"Tck, you think I want to cause trouble?"

A smile played on Russia's lips. He gave me no reply as he continued down the hallway, softly chuckling.

Tck... What'd he find so amusing about my question?

_Creak._

I jumped slightly and turned to see Hungary stepping out of her room. I could feel my heart light up as she walked down the hall towards me.

"Elizabeta!" I called out.

Hungary looked up at me. Her beautiful emerald eyes looked lovely but sad. She must have been through a lot these past few days.

"Oh, it's you."

I blinked. Why did she seem irritated to see me? "Is something... wrong, Lizzy?"

"Something wrong you ask?" A dark shadow covered her eyes as her hands shook at her sides. "Is something wrong? That's the first thing you can ask after all this?"

"I... I'm sorry..."

She laughed bitterly. "You're sorry? Sorry? _Sorry_?"

_SLAP!_

I stumbled backwards and leaned against the wall as I put a hand to my face.

"How could you do this to us?" Hungary screamed. "You ruined everything for me and for Austria. _Your _allies! And now, now, _NOW_ look what you've done to your own brother! How could you betray him like that?!" She pointed her long, skinny finger at me. "You betrayed us."

* * *

I wandered around the house until I found a lonely little parlor that had a nice view of Russia's backyard. I brushed my fingers against my bruised cheek as I gazed out the window. _Elizabeta... I thought you of all people... might understand me. I was wrong. Wrong to have loved you and thought you would love me back through thick and thin._

I sighed softly through my nose. I don't quite understand all that she said to me. I know I've ruined things for practically everyone, but what does she mean that I betrayed my Bruder? I would never do something like that, ever. Not unless she was referring to that... but that, that is a different story and has nothing to do with betraying him. Maybe she just said all that because of what she was going through. I don't blame her for suddenly losing herself like that. There's a lot that has happened that everyone needs to recover from. We're all bruised and battered... and perhaps, perhaps some of us were betrayed.

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**Author's Note: **Eh, there's nothing that really inspired the title of this chapter. Just felt like it fit. X3 I hope you enjoyed this chapter! :D


	4. Hide Your Face

_**Chapter Four: Hide Your Face**_

_(Prussia's POV)_

They say that the fittest survive... I wonder what "fittest" means exactly. Before this war, I would probably have told you it meant to be the strongest, but now I think differently. Watching the other nations, I feel like it means the selfish are the "fittest." I mean, if you only look after your own, you'll survive. If you don't depend on others... No, that can't be true. Yet... yet that seems to be the truth. Russia seems to think that way, but he can't be right, can he? He's pushing me to accept that. He said something about it being the only way to survive.

_"Forget about your old life, East. You are no longer Prussia. You need to become East and grow strong. This is your only chance, Gilbert. I don't want to lose you again."_

I sighed softly as the his words continued to linger in my mind. He is basically telling me to hide who I really was and become what he wanted. Maybe he was right that this was the only way to save me... yet I can't help these mixed feelings. I want to keep living, but... but is it worth practically betraying my Bruder just to save my skin? Couldn't there be another way? Or was I meant to die?

_"I don't want to lose you. I don't think your Bruder wants to lose you either even if this is the only way."_

But would he be able to bring himself to forgive me for this? That was the question, Russia. I couldn't possibly live with Germany being unforgiving towards me. I just couldn't.

_"I do not want to force this on you, but you are beginning to give me no choice."_

But I don't want it like this! If it's going to be like this, I might as well die!

_"But think of your brother! He would crumble if you were to die."_

He'll understand... he'll understand why I did this.

_"Will he? Gilbert, he does not understand what is going on with you. He does not understand the disappearances or deaths of countries."_

I can't do this, Russia! I... just can't!

_"You have no choice! This is your only way of survival! Do it for your brother's sake."_

Please, Russia! There must be another way! I've already hurt everyone so much... I can't do it to them again in this way.

_"They will understand in the future."_

The future isn't important! It's _now_! They need to know in the present not the future.

_"This isn't something they can understand now. The future will unfold what they need to understand."_

How can you be so sure?

_"I have been around for longer than you, East. It is something you may understand in a few years."_

* * *

I tugged at the scarf around my neck. Bleck... it's soo scratchy! How does Russia put up with it? I know I agreed to his plans, but I didn't think I'd have to wear an outfit like his! It does get cold in East Germany, but it never gets as cold as it does in Russia. Not to mention these colors are so not me. Couldn't he have chosen better colors? I sighed. Well, I've got no choice but to do as he says and remember... remember I'm not Prussia anymore.

_Rrrrrrr-Screeeeeeech! _

I winced at the awful sound of the brakes. Russia should invest in a new car or at least a better one, but he won't. He prefers the antiques.

"Come along, East." Russia offered his hand to help me out of the car.

I pushed all my feelings and thoughts to the darkest corner of my mind as I accepted Russia's hand.

_I'm no longer Prussia. I'm no longer Prussia. I'm no longer Prussia. _I kept repeating to myself as Russia lead me into the UN building.

I took in a deep breath and could almost feel myself changing into a different person as we paused in front of the main UN room. I mussed up my hair to make it look more like Russia's hairstyle. Now... to face the world, literally.

_Creak._

Russia swung the doors open. The room was exactly as I remembered except with the change of the Prussian flag to the new East Germany flag. I did my best to put on a straight face with no emotion as I took my place between Russia and Germany.

"Gilbert." Germany nudged me softly under the table.

My heart clenched but I turned my gaze toward England and America who were both trying to get the meeting started.

"Okay guys! Let's get this meeting started so England can have his tea time."

"I did not say anything about tea time!"

America waved him off. "Whatever, I know that's what you're thinking about. You always think about your crumpets and English muffins." He pulled out a hamburger. "That's the problem with you. You think too much about food." He munched on his burger rather loudly. "Unlike me who stays focused on the meeting and not on food."

"America, you're ea-"

America interrupted England quickly, "First, I guess *munch, munch, crunch!* we *crunch* should talk about the borders for *crunch, crunch!* East and West Germany, then *crunch, munch* we can *munch, munch, munch* talk about *crunch!* dividing Berlin."

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Germany struggling to hold his tongue. My heart clenched again. Poor Germany... He's got to be taking this all pretty hard. No, must focus. I can't feel sorry for him right now. I have others things to worry about.

* * *

_(Germany's POV)_

It was becoming very difficult to keep a straight and non-irritated face as America rambled on with some interruptions from England and France. I really wanted to ask why Gilbert was not allowed to live with me? He can still be East Germany and be with me, can't he? I glanced at Gilbert. I wonder what could be going through his head? He looks different... He looks dazed, almost as if he was in a trance. He looked weak and tired. He looks nothing like the big Bruder I remember. I suppose the clothes he is wearing do not help either. I don't even want to discuss his hair... Poor Gilbert, it must be awful for him. Ever since I can remember, Gilbert had always had difficulty with Russia. The two had always clashed. I wanted to do whatever was in my power to rescue him. He's done so much for me in the past. I can't just let him be taken by his worst enemy!

I raised my hand. "Permission to speak?"

America paused mid-sentence. "Ur... I suppose."

I stood up. "I would like to ask permission to have my Bruder to live with me."

Gilbert seemed to snap out of his trance. He kicked me lightly underneath the table. I glanced at him through the corner of my eye. _Don't worry, Bruder... I will bring you back to where you belong._

Russia stood up and pounded the table hard. "_Нет! Я не позволю! _(No! I will not allow it!)"

"Why not? He's my Bruder! I should have a right to have him!"

Russia let a wicked smile spread across his face. "But we are the _победители. _(victors)"

I clenched my fists tightly and rose to give Russia a piece of my mind. England and France jumped up quickly and pulled me back into my seat.

America coughed to get everyone's attention. "We really don't need to be fighting right now." He gave me a small 'I'm sorry it's gotta be like this' look. "But for everyone's good, we gotta let Russia take care of East."

I struggled to keep my composure. I was angry, but I couldn't let it out. If I could, it would probably help my current state of mind. I glanced at my Bruder. I couldn't see his face since he had it turned from me. My heart clenched. He's disappointed in me, isn't he? I clenched and unclenched my fists under the table. I couldn't rescue my Bruder. That... is the worst feeling I could ever have. I now have this guilty feeling that I... I have just handed over my Bruder to his worst enemy. He probably hates me right now. To be hated by your own Bruder... is the worst possible thing to happen.

After the meeting, I excused myself and headed for the restroom. I needed some privacy before I went back to West Berlin with America, England, and France. I needed to cool down majorly. I swung the door open a little roughly. I froze as the door slammed shut behind me. In front of me was my Bruder, crying into the sink as the faucet poured water onto his head.

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**Author's Note: **Finally updated! X3 I got a little stuck but I've finally made progress. Hoping to post another chapter soon. ;)

Oh this chapter title was inspired by the song "Masquerade" from the Phantom of the Opera musical. X3

**Author's Response to Reviews:**

**_Koo Kid:_** Oh, I really like how you portrayed Prussia in this one. I'm hooked. ;)**  
**

_Aw I'm glad you liked it. I hope you'll enjoy the rest._


	5. Can You Hear My Heartbeat?

_**Chapter Five: Can You Hear My Heartbeat?**_

_(Germany's POV)_

I felt like a deer in head-lights. I couldn't move. I've never seen Gilbert break down like this before. He was always so strong, no matter what. Seeing him like this... it pained me. And... it's my fault he was like this.

Gilbert turned off the faucet as he stiffened slightly. He must have just sensed my presence. He rubbed his face hard. "I'm sorry I took so long, Ivan. It was getting hot..." he trailed off as he turned around and saw me. "Lud... wig."

I managed to nod slightly. I was afraid of what he was going to say to me. How disappointed he was in me... How on earth can I face him after what happened in the meeting?

* * *

_(Prussia's POV) _

Water dripped down my face as I looked up at my little Bruder. I hate it... I hate that he's seeing me like this. Ever since he was little, I was determined to never _ever _let him see me cry or break down. And now look... he's seen me do both.

I swallowed nervously. "Lud... wig."

What else could I say? There is no way I can explain everything to him and apologize for all that I've done... and for all that I'm going to do.

Germany just stood there stiffly. My heart tightened. I had to do something. This could be my last chance to make things somewhat right before... before I have to betray him as East Germany.

I grabbed Germany's arm and pulled him into a tight hug, hoping that maybe... just maybe... he could hear my heart speaking since the words would not, could not come out of my mouth. My left hand grasped his head firmly and pushed it gently down into shoulder. _Please... understand, Ludwig._

Germany slowly returned my embrace. My heart tightened again, but it was more of a comforting tightening. I forced my tears back as I hugged him tighter. His shoulders shook along with mine as we struggled to keep back our emotions.

"Gilbert... I'm-"

I shook my head slightly. "No, don't say anything. We... We don't have much time to stay together like this."

Germany nodded and tightened his embrace.

"Careful, little West..." I gasped softly.

Germany loosened his grip some and buried his head against my chest. I managed to crack a small smile. It was almost like those old times when he was just a kid and would bury his little head into my chest and pour out his troubles to me... My heart throbbed. I can never and will never let go of those memories with him.

* * *

_(Russia's POV)_

Vhat could be taking Gilvert so long? I hope he is all right. Perhaps I should check on him? I headed tovard the restroom, but paused as I heard a soft sound coming from vehind the door. My heart tightened as I recognized Gilvert's sov. He must ve taking the meeting rather hard. I put my hand toward the door vut stopped as I recognized the voice of Germany. A small smile tugged at my lips as I turned avay from the restroom. Gilvert could handle himself vetter than I thought. I vill leave those two to themselves. They need some time together vefore my voss starts vringing out the true Soviet Union. I'm afraid ov what the next years vill be like. Vhat damage could happen to Europe... vut especially to the damage done vetween Gilvert and Ludvig. I vorry. I really vorry.

* * *

_(Germany's POV)_

I hugged Gilbert as tightly as I could without choking him. Would this be our last time meeting like this? It couldn't... it just couldn't.

"Ludwig," Gilbert whispered softly. "I... need to go soon."

"So... soon?" I looked at him sadly.

He gave me a sad smile. "If I don't go now, the others might suspect something. Ivan's waiting for me."

"But, Gilbert... What... What if this is our last time seeing each other like this?"

He tried to laugh it off. "Silly West. Worrying about small things. We'll see each other again. I'm sure of it."

I pursed my lips. I knew he was just saying that to make me feel better, but I couldn't help but hope he was right. "Promise?"

He managed to crack a grin. "Promise."

I tried to return a smile. "You better not break it."

"Of course not. Kesese. Since when did I ever break my promises?"

I could feel a real smile form on my lips. Gibert was acting more like his old self. "You never have."

Gilbert grinned wider and ruffled my hair. "So you know I definitely won't break this one."

But... this promise, I knew in the back of my mind, Gilbert probably couldn't keep. So why, why was he making it? He wouldn't be foolish like that just to cheer me up. Was he actually serious about trying to see me again? Despite all the trouble he could get into?

I looked into my brother's red eyes. _Gilbert, you don't have to do all this for me. _

He returned my deep gaze. _Ludwig, just trust me._

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_**Author's Note: **_Short update and my apologies. ^^" It just needed to end short. XD But the next chapter will def be longer, I promise! Oh and this chapter's title was inspired by "Heartbeat" by 2PM. I actually haven't heard the whole song but I liked the chorus. ^^;;


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